Pros and Cons

As with everything in life, there are pros and cons to moving and there are pros and cons to camping.  Many people go through their whole lives never doing either.  Some fortunate people, like military families, get to move every three to five years.  There are even some people who spend more time camping than they do living in  a house or working at a job. (At least that's what they want you to think from all the pictures they post on their blogs or Facebook pages.)  Today, my friends, I am the envy of all.  I am moving and camping at the same time.

Moving from Monterey, California to Spotsylvania, Virginia may not seem like a big deal to some but this family doesn't do anything small (or normal, for that matter) and we couldn't stand the idea of the military moving us.  We couldn't have professional packers come and pack our stuff, neither could they load it on a truck for us.  No, no.  We had to do this ourselves.  (Ideally, we make money doing it this way.)  So we have spent weeks packing things into boxes and one MAD week cramming it all into a truck.

And we can't just drive straight there from here; we've got to do this with style so the kids will remember it for the rest of their lives. (WHAT exactly the kids remember will come to light in later years when the scarring properties of what their parents have inflicted has somewhat worn away the bitterness.) We've got to camp across the country.  To this end, we have a minivan that will be dragging (notice I did not say hauling) a trailer chock full of camping gear over hill and dale and a small 2 door sedan in which 4 people CAN sit but only 2 people (the driver +1) WILL sit for this trip.

Now as I said in the beginning, there are pros and cons to this and I've compiled a list of each.  In the future, should you decide to attempt this same madness, consult this blog and choose wisely (Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books?????).  Your sanity may depend on it. (thankfully, I don't have any left to lose)

AND NOW........be forewarned - these pros and cons are biased.  The writer takes full credit for the point of view...
The pros of moving and camping across the country at the same time

• You get to drive across this great nation - And since my husband is so gallant and chivalrous, he doesn't want me driving the van with the trailer.  Do you know what that means?  That means that this wonderful, intelligent man who listens to talk radio all day and spends most of his time on the internet reading the news or doing research about one thing or another will be driving the van with three children and a dog.  NPR is not going to cut it all the way to Virginia.  I bet it won't even clear California!!
• You get to visit family - if your family is like mine, they're all over the place.  What better time to make them cook you dinner?
• You get to see all kinds of neat stuff that you may never see again - Like Mt. Rushmore or the place where Laura Ingalls Wilder grew up.  You'll finally know for yourself whether Old Faithful is REALLY as faithful as they say (whoever "they" are).
• You'll be creating memories that will last a lifetime - memories of family fun at amazing places, excitement in your childrens' eyes at historical places, spiritual awakenings within our family circle.

The cons of moving and camping across the country at the same time

• You get to drive across this great nation - and see every podunk town and weirdy at every gas station along the way.  You get to use gas station and truck stop bathrooms where your kids think everything they sell is worth what they're asking because they'll keep it "forever" (which really means they'll keep it till it gets lost, they'll cry about it for a day and then never think of it again)
• You get to visit family - the folks you never get to see cause they're in the middle and you only ever live on the coasts....and who knew that they had the ONLY surviving copy of mom's Tuna Florentine Casserole.  (Especially since you went to such great pains to make sure it was destroyed so she could never make it for dinner again!!)
• You get to see all kinds of "neat" stuff that you nay never see again - for which fact, you will thank the Lord for the rest of your life.  (We're not talking giant rubber band balls either. ) 
• You'll be creating memories that will last a lifetime - you'll never forget who gets bad gas from which fast food place OR how long it takes for them to erupt.  You'll never forget that the dog barfs going over the "whoopdee-doos" in the desert or that it only takes about 30 minutes for half a gallon of soda to require mom to stop.  (And for those who are "in the know" - cow pies.  that's all I have to say)

You'll have to decide for yourself whether it's worth it for you.  Since I started this venture with no sanity and the kid's was questionable at best, you'll have to use my husband as the gauge.  If he's still sane at the end of it all, it wasn't worth it.  If he's come through a few sandwiches short of a picnic and a few kabobs short of a barbeque, I'll call it a worthwhile venture.  HA HA HA!!!

Things children insist on learning through sad experience

Kids are amazing little creatures.  Their minds are like little sponges that soak up information at a rate that we sad, sagging adults can't even fathom.  Our minds are burned out or worn out or just plain OUT. But KIDS...man!

I think there are things that kids learn because they are repeated to them a million and a half times, like times tables or don't play with the wall socket. And they remember these simple, sometimes inane things, for the rest of their lives!

I think there are other things that get repeated a million and a half times, like don't hit your brother or clean your room or leave me alone when I'm on the phone, that they never seem to remember and have to be reminded of frequently; usually much more frequently than parents like to admit.  (You see, it reflects badly on US if we say to one another that just the other day one son punched the other in the chest and you told him to knock it off so he did but then today you had to tell the SAME son to stop doing the SAME thing because, as said son says, he "forgot you said that.")

But there is another classification of things that kids learn that, try though we may, we cannot shelter them from.  They are going to learn these things whether we like it or not and the only things we can do, when the lessons are learned, are take them to the ER or clean up the mess.

Here, for your reading pleasure as well as your education, are some of the lessons my children have learned from sad experience:

1.  That stupid rhyme about monkeys jumping on beds is true.  You really will fall off and crack your head.  Then you'll have to get 5 stitches.  (The rhyme never talks about THAT part.)

2.  Sliding down the stairs in a laundry bucket is NOT the same as sledding down a really steep hill.  The hill doesn't have a wall at the bottom that you hit your head on really hard  [**admittedly, they learned this from watching ME trying to convince them that it WAS the same**]

3.  If mom says that shiny, triangle thing with holes in it  (aka the iron) is really hot, it really is REALLY HOT and you shouldn't grab it with both hands.

4.  Playing tug-of-war is something you should do OUTSIDE because there are no closet doors or hinges that you can bang your head on.  Cause after you bang your head you have to go to the hospital and get staples or stitches, depending on the hospital.

5.  Playing baseball with friends is really cool when you're seven except when everybody wants a turn to bat at the same time.  Then, when you get too close to the guy with the bat while it's his turn, you get hit right between the eyes and have to go back to the ER for more stitches.  (And your mom want's to call you Frank 'cause it's short for Frankenstein)

6.  If your mom says she'll help you use that wax thing she dips her hands in, blow drying the wax from the top will not help it melt any faster.  It just makes it splatter all over the mirror in her bathroom and then she says you can't use it anymore.

7.  You should never walk too close to your mom is she's in one of those moods where she wants to try to kick your butt from the side.  She's going to get her foot stuck in your backpack straps and drag you both to the ground.  Then your first grade teacher will have to put Band-Aids on both of you. (Then your kid says "Mom!!  Why do you have to be so stupid!!!???")

8.  If your mom tells you not to ride your bike down that really steep hill with all the potholes in it, don't ride down that hill.  'Cause if you do, you might hit a really deep hole and fly over your handlebars.  Then you scrape your chest all up and your bike lands on top of you and bikes are heavy.

9.  Sliding down the stairs in slickery sleeping bags is AWESOME!...unless....there's a leather sectional three feet from the bottom of the stairs.  The slickery sleeping bag makes you go really fast and your feet crunch into the sectional.  Then you have to turn that piece upside down, glue it, clamp it and pray that the glue dries and you get the dumb thing put back together BEFORE Dad comes home.  (Although you do find all kinds of treasures....)

10.  If someone offers you candy for sucking soda up a straw with your nose...don't do it.