Friday, October 7, 2011

On Dogs and Children

So I'm sitting here late at night, waiting for something to finish cooking because I planned my day poorly, and my thoughts turned to the similarities that exist between dogs and children. Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that dogs are better than children or vice versa. All I'm saying is that when you stop to think about it, the two really aren't THAT different, depending on how old the child is. For example:

*A dog eats everything. It doesn't matter what it is, "If it's on the ground, it's in the hound." My dog has a penchant for blankets and all things fabric. He chews on and swallows whatever he can get his teeth on. This frequently causes a "backup" which always ends up as my responsibility. A child, on the other hand, only eats everything it can get its hands on while he is young. The behavior usually stops after he learns that a)he has teeth and b)the big people will give him things to eat and he doesn't have to scavenge on the ground for cheerios and old gum.

*My dog likes to play outside for a long time and then come into the house, stinky and sweaty, and not take a shower. A male child will do the same thing and I'm told that the behavior changes eventually.

*Regarding playing outside, my dog will go anywhere and do anything. He likes to run through tick-infested grass and mosquito-laden mud spots with his mouth open, catching all the flying things as he goes. A male child is frequently seen doing the same types of activities and one may wonder if he catches any bugs in his mouth given the fact that his mouth is widely opened during most of the aforementioned activities - with loud sounds emanating therefrom to boot.

*My dog will run out the door any chance he gets if he sees his dog friend across the street or a squirrel in the yard. He neither needs an invitation nor waits for permission. A child of any age will do this. In young children it is easier to understand because they do not have the experience of understanding when it's ok and when it's not. The boggling of the mind comes in when older children, who are responsible enough to do some fairly important tasks, run out of the house when their friend walks by the front door. It's even more mind-rattling when they feel upset that you've called them in and accuse you of "never letting them play".

*My dog has a built in aversion to "bath time" and will cower in corners when he knows it is time for him to be bathed. He has learned that resistance is futile and will be still but there is a clear understanding, in the look he gives you, that you will never be forgiven for this humiliation. A child of either persuasion has this same aversion after the age of about 7. Taking a shower becomes a chore to be hated and dawdled over and there is quite a vociferous understanding given you that this injustice will be remembered, like the "poisonous" chicken stir-fry you tried to feed them last night for dinner.

These are just a few of the things I think about late at night. I probably shouldn't stay up.

1 comment:

Jen said...

LOL!!! You are so funny! I love you! I'm writing a letter, I swear. We've been so terribly busy with wedding stuff for my brother... excuses, excuses. But until you get it... Jeff got a job!! This is with USGS (did I tell you about that one?) and we're still waiting and hoping for FBI but we've got benefits and real income so it's a big relief.