"Oooohhh Fuuuuudge!"

If anyone out there is like me, you had someone in your life teaching you what was right and wrong when you were little. A parent, a grandparent, an auntie, a friend's mom or dad...somebody. That person who always expected good things from you and let you know it; who would drop the hammer on you just like you were their own kid when you did something stupid and who made it clear which rules you could bend and which ones you'd better never break. They expected you to be polite to them and their family; they expected good table manners and good language.

I think that, somewhere in our DNA, is a list of "bad words". We don't always have to hear them to know them...somehow they are built in and we wake up one bright 3rd or 4th grade morning knowing we know something we aren't supposed to say and wickedly looking for opportunities to say it. It might be under our breath, it might be at the top of our lungs (granted this is while we're at the top of the highest tree, farthest from our house) or, if you are exceedingly good, these words might cross your mind, but never your tongue. After all, these are the words that would make grandmas blush and certainly cut short any chillax time with friends.

I would like to add to the "hard-wired" list of Unsayables, a few words that,over the past several years, have become just as irritating, just as thoughtless and rude as any of those 'other' words.

1. an·a·lyze 
to examine carefully and in detail so as to identify causes, key factors, possible results, etc.

I hate this word. More to the point, I hate when I am the one being analyzed. I don't want to be examined so that the examiner can try to figure out why I do something, what went into my decision to do it and the far-reaching (sometimes REALLY far...) consquences of whatever it was I did. If I had done all that, I may not have done what I did. BUT, not having done that does not make me dumb, or stupid or thoughtless and not thinking that way habitually does not make me somehow 'less than' those who do.

2.ir·ra·tion·al   
1.without the faculty of reason; deprived of reason.
2.without or deprived of normal mental clarity or sound judgment.

I used two definitions for this one because both mean sort of the same thing but in different ways.
First of all, I am NOT deprived of reason. I am quite capable of being reasonable. Will I get annoyed if I am treated with condescending disrespect? Yes. Does that make me irrational? No.

Second of all, I am not deprived (or denied the use of) mental clarity or sound judgement. These things are not like food and water which can be taken away as a punishment. They are inherent. Do some people think more rationally than others? Absolutely. Are there those in this world who think more rationally than me? I'm sure of it. Am I irrational because of this? No.

3.nor·mal   

1.conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
Psychology
2.approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
3.free from any mental disorder; sane.

Another multi-definitional one.
As far as conforming to societal standards regarding the laws of the land and "appropriate" sociological behavior, I am normal. That being said, I am also very different. I am ME and I like me. I like me BECAUSE I am different and others like me (so I've been told) because I'm different. In all the responsible citizen, be-a-good-neighbor, set-a-good-example ways, I'm normal. In all the make-your-own-kind-of-music, march-to-the-beat-of-your-own-drum, be-comfortable-with-who-you-are ways, I'm ME. (Which is probably pretty normal, because everyone wants to be a little different from everybody else.)

As far as being of average intelligence, personality or emotional adjustment, I'm probably on the side of the bell curve toward abnormal; but only just. I'm not free of a mental disorder, as my last post clearly outlined. BUT, (there's always a big one somewhere...)I'm not insane. I could probably be called quite rational. :)

4. house·wife   
1.a married woman who manages her own household, especially as her principal occupation.

—Usage note
Housewife is offensive to some, perhaps because of an implied contrast with career woman (just a housewife ) and perhaps because it defines an occupation in terms of a woman's relation to a man. Homemaker is a common substitute.

OK - this one doesn't bother me so very much and certainly not for the reason stated that it defines me in relation to a man. Specifically, MY man. It bothers me because saying I'm a housewife implies that I'm married to my house. Ummm...no. By one definition, to marry is to unite closely or intimately. I really like my house and the views are great. I find peace in my backyard and it's in a good neighborhood but, we just aren't that close. We're really just good friends. So I'm NOT a housewife, I'm Dan's wife. That's a HUGE difference! I have moved from house to house to house and never once felt anything close for them as I do for my husband. I am definitely a homemaker. I make the empty house into a home with my flair for decorating (which is really just putting stuff away) and my charming, effervescent spirit. (HEY! I was actually told that by somebody once...in the family I married into!) So don't call me a housewife.

5. stu·pid   

1.lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2.characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless

This word really bugs me because I have heard it so often in reference to ideas I've had or questions I've asked or things I've done to help someone else. I've heard others use it in reference to my children's questions and they, in turn have started to think it's okay to say it to one another regarding their respective knowledge quotients. I'm not the most intelligent person in the world, I know, but I'm pretty smart. My kids are fantastic and capable of advanced work in many of their school subject. And we are by no means DULL. (If you think this, you have clearly never been to our house!)

So, loyal readers, as with those other words that must not be spoken, keep these out of your vocabulary. Replace them with words like pulchritudinous, effervescent, reasonable, extraordinary...you get the picture.